HEADLINES WE CAN EXPECT IN 2012

Regular visitors of this blog know the futility of making predictions. They know too well that past events rarely have any bearing on future outcomes, at least not in the long run. But a one year horizon is different. It is short enough to encourage punters like yours truly ;-) to take a plunge and still sufficiently long enough to ensure a 90% miss rate. On a serious note, the predictions outlined below are a satirical take on various noteworthy events of 201, which are exaggerated  and presented as predictions for 2012. However, I am still betting on getting 10% accuracy...

POLITICAL

·               “Yet another military coup in Pakistan – Kayani takes over”.

·               “ US declares war on Pakistan”.

·         “China claims Andaman and Nicobar Islands, NE, Uttaranchal and entire Indian Ocean Region as Chinese territories.”

·               “Food inflation touches 20%, overall inflation rise to 15%.”

·      “Anna Hazare’s fast enters 150^th day – Government readies yet another version of Government’s Lokpal Bill.”

·               “Mayawati wins a landslide victory in UP – Announces rollback of plans for division of the state”.

·               “Yet another terrorist attack on Indian soil, Government pleads intelligence failure”.

·               “BJP declares Narendra Modi as the party’s Prime Ministerial Candidate for the next Lok Sabha elections.”

·               “Bin Laden not dead!! Seen sipping coffee in CIA headquarters.”

BUSINESS & ECONOMY

·               “Union Budget – Government announces inflation cess of 10%, health care cess of 5% and a special ‘financial stability cess of 25%”.

·               “Union Budget – Government raises taxes on various food and non-food commodities to discourage consumption”.

·               “Rupee slides to Rs.65 against dollar – Crisis imminent”.

·               “Research In Motion (the makers of Blackberry) goes bankrupt.”

·               “Nokia meets yet another failure with LUMIA -10.”

·               “More Bailouts in Europe.”

·               “SENSEX hits rock bottom, Occupy Dalal Street protests begin in Mumbai”

·               Yuan becomes official reserve currency of the world.”

·               “100% FDI in multi brand retail passed by parliament amid fears of US backlash against Indian IT and ITES industry.”

·               “iphone 5 launched  - Too little, too late?”

·               “Google becomes world’s most valuable company.”

·               “Government bails out Air India, Mallya sells off  Kingfisher Airlines.”

·               “Companies layoff as growth hit”.

SPORTS

·               “London Olympics 2012 – China leads the medals tally in all categories, India fails to bring home any medal”.

·               “Sachin Tendulkar announces retirement”.

MOVIES & ENTERTAINMENT

·               “The DarkKnight Rises – Top grossing movie ever”

·               “Paranormal Activity 4, 5, 6….”

·               “Dhanush enters Bollywood with ‘Mr. & Mrs. Kolavari’.

·               “Veena Malik & Poonam Pandey float ‘Natural Entertainment India Pvt. Ltd’. Sunny Leone roped in to provide technical consultancy”. (Sic)

·               “Rakhi Sawant joins Samajwadi Party”.

And last but not the least, "The world will end tomorrow".

MERRY CHRISTMAS.

YF- IThink